Pokeri ja nettipokeri - taitopelien aatelia

Bah2 kirjoitti:shorttisittari, mulla SB:ssä 77 ja koko pöytä limppaa alle.
Floppi 722 kahdella hertalla. Sökötetään napille, joka lyö minibetin. Maksan, ja BB maksaa kanssa. Turn x, sökötetään napille, joka lyö minibetin. Mä maksan ja BB kippaa. Riveriltä hertta, ja lyön puolisen pottia. Vihu lyö lisää, ja mä tungen loput.

Vihu: "lol"
Vihu: "Nice going moron"
Vihu: "Way to slow play your trips"
Vihu: "Thanks for letting me draw my nutflush for free"
Vihu: "Or were you chasing a lousy small flush?"
Vihu: "Thanks for the chips idiot"
Vihu: "lol"

Ja sit kun aika alkaa olemaan lopuillaan, vihu maksaa, kääntää AQs:n ja katkee.

Vihu: "OMG"
Vihu: "unbelievable"
Vihu: "You truly are a fish you know that?"
Vihu: "good luck moron. you'll need it"

Syön hatullisen paskaa jos toi ei ollu jenkkipelaaja.

Turbo-satelliitti-MTT:

Herolla iso stack buttonilla, vihu 8k:n BB:ssä 20k:n stackilla ja ainoastaan BB postattu.

50:lle lippu, n.87 jäljellä ja vihu kippaamalla omais saumat lippuun.

Hero puskee A3offarin, kun ei koe sitä kovin suureksi virheeksi.
Vihu melko instana maksaa 87s:lla ja lentää pihalle.

Chat:

vihu: ffs
vihu: WHAT A SITE
vihu: donk cunts
vihu: its all its for is DONK CUNTS
vihu: no one can play here
vihu: so they put a super fkin idiot turbo
vihu: just for lucky NOOBS
vihu: "Hero" the worst idiot in the world
Hero: i know
Hero: thank you sir
vihu: nothing invested waste 20k with A3 the fkin cunt
vihu: check ure stats u dumb rookie
vihu: minus $5000 this year (Herolla oikeesti aika mukavasti plussalla)
vihu: what a fkin spastic u r
Hero: you do have a fold button, don't you?
vihu: its super turbo u retarded cunt
random: LOL
vihu: learn the game
Hero: you must've typoed my nick
vihu: youve lost 5k this year
vihu: how awful u must be
Hero: copy-paste from the hand history
Hero: eliminates typing errors nicely
vihu: retarded rookie loosing player you are so u must feel good about winning a hand hey
vihu: fkin cunt illl kill you
random2:
Hero: feel free to try to

Muutama random käsi poistettu välistä mutta tällänen royal flush

Dealing River
Js 3c Ts Ks As
Dealer: StackMe2 checks
Dealer: Anthonyice bets 240
Dealer: StackMe2 calls 240
Dealer:
Anthonyice shows Flush
6s 5c Qs 7c
Dealer:
Anthonyice wins with Flush
6s Js Qs Ks As 720
Dealer:
Anthonyice wins with Flush
6s Js Qs Ks As 720

duces08:
royaler nice

StackMe2:
no royal

duces08:
yes royal mong

StackMe2:
dude u play plo

StackMe2:
look at the hh, donk

StackMe2:
wanna bet ur roll?

duces08:
wat u on bowt

StackMe2:
just saying, it's no royal, u need to use 2 holecards
StackMe2:
ldo

duces08:
o stop will ya he had a royal flush

CatFa:
royal where?, sr i sleep

CatFa:
so he had royal?

StackMe2:
wow i like u already
duces08:
be quit fruit kacke
CatFa:
or what
duces08:
yes

StackMe2:
no he had a flush with Q6

Anthonyice:
lol

CatFa:
really??
duces08:
he had a royaler
Anthonyice:
I' dont had royal

StackMe2:
he didn't used the T

CatFa:
i had diamond in my as

StackMe2:
rly?

Dealing Flop
7s 7d 7h
CatFa:
whereis the royal now?

Dealing Flop
8s 8h 2h
CatFa:
ROYAL!
Dealer: CatFa checks
Dealer: StackMe2 goes All-in 520
Dealer: CatFa folds

StackMe2:
sry, i had it

CatFa:
roy's an al

StackMe2:
should have know

StackMe2:
known*

Starting a new hand
Dealer: StackMe2 posts Small Blind 100
Dealer: Anthonyice posts Big Blind 200
Dealer:
Dealing cards

Dealer: CatFa calls 200
Dealer: Hdead6 folds
Dealer: pinehurst2009 folds
Dealer: StackMe2 folds
Dealer: Anthonyice checks
Dealer:
Dealing Flop
As Ts Kd
Dealer: Anthonyice checks
Dealer: CatFa checks
Dealer:
Dealing Turn
As Ts Kd 4c
Dealer: Anthonyice checks
Dealer: CatFa checks
Dealer:
Dealing River
As Ts Kd 4c Js
Dealer: Anthonyice checks
CatFa:
u want see?
Dealer: CatFa bets 500
Anthonyice:
no ty
Dealer: Anthonyice folds
Dealer:
CatFa shows Royal flush
Td Qs Ks Qh

Hdead6:
wow

Anthonyice:
this is royal

StackMe2:
epic

CatFa:
really?

Seat 1: ckram ( $28.98 USD )
Seat 2: HERO ( $42.62 USD )
Seat 3: Djamel MRad ( $24.64 USD )
Seat 4: koyote777 ( $35.18 USD )
Seat 5: Relw ( $29.43 USD )
Seat 6: Balla5205 ( $4.05 USD )
Djamel MRad posts small blind [$0.10 USD].
koyote777 posts big blind [$0.25 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to HERO [ Q Q ]
Relw folds
Balla5205 raises [$0.85 USD]
ckram folds
HERO raises [$2.90 USD]
Djamel MRad folds
koyote777 folds
Balla5205 calls [$2.05 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 7 , 9 , A ]
Balla5205 bets [$1.15 USD]
HERO calls [$1.15 USD]
Balla5205 shows [8 , T ]
HERO shows [Q , Q ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ K ]
** Dealing River ** [ 5 ]
HERO wins $7.73 USD from main pot

Balla5205: lol
Balla5205: instacall
Balla5205: how the &#¤% can you call that
Balla5205: retard

eräältä suomalaiselta lainasin bongasin tämmöiset tarinat
dude: There are macdoinas out in the garden, must take the shotgun and clear them out
dude: must post&fold for a while

Ei mikään uus, mutta erittäin hauska keskustelu nanonokolta( http://www.pokertableratings.com/stars- ... h/nanonoko )

nanonoko: raises $8 to $12
uk_djerba: folds
mugsyjets: calls $8
*** FLOP *** [7c Qs 2h]
mugsyjets: bets $20
nanonoko: raises $506.25 to $526.25 and is all-in
mugsyjets said, "u beat AQ?"
mugsyjets said, "wtf!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
mugsyjets: calls $409 and is all-in
*** TURN *** [7c Qs 2h] [6c]
*** RIVER *** [7c Qs 2h 6c] [Ac]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
mugsyjets: shows [As Qc] (two pair, Aces and Queens)
nanonoko: shows [5c Jc] (a flush, Ace high)
nanonoko collected $882 from pot

mugsyjets: what a fcuking joke
mugsyjets: stupid fcuking moron
mugsyjets: youre a fcuking stupid kunt, fish
mugsyjets: runner runner flush
mugsyjets: fcuk you kunt
mugsyjets: speak up dikhead
Mooshoo: he's repping the jackson five
Mooshoo: don't hate
mugsyjets: stupid fcuking ****
mugsyjets: god damn slope
mugsyjets: fcuking jokerstars rewards morons like you is whats funny
mugsyjets: say something you gutless poussy
nanonoko: hello sir
mugsyjets: your play was so obvious you hAD nothing
micutu17: i would love to punch in the mouth whoever built the system
micutu17: def a sick *******
micutu17: always rewards fish
nanonoko: fishes call
nanonoko: hence you are the fish and i'm not
mugsyjets: fishes call???????????? thats what u say?
mugsyjets: i had you KILLED u fcuking moron
nanonoko: don't you know fishes love to call?
mugsyjets: it was an obvious steal with that overbet and now u are criticizing my play?????????????
mugsyjets: youre a fcuking joke
nanonoko: the say the best players are the ones who puts a man to a decision for all of his chips
mugsyjets: LMAO
mugsyjets: you must be another stupid fcuking asian
micutu17: lol
mugsyjets: u did and i read you perfectly
mugsyjets: fcuking donk
nanonoko: BTW
nanonoko: i am NANONOKO

Full tiltin NL10 pöytä. Näissä muutamassa kädessä, pelaajat ovat menneet preflopilla all in.

ttmoney1: cronican your an idiot
ttmoney1: you bet like a moron and you waste too much time cronican
cronican1: thats alright
cronican1: I can play how I want
cronican1: my hand my money
ttmoney1: just poiniting out that you stall the game on purpose
ttmoney1: that is why your an idiot
cronican1: thats part of the game
cronican1: thinking
cronican1: now your wasting time
cronican1: tic tic
cronican1: Idiot
ttmoney1: actually i wasn't stalling i was thinking... you stall before you bet on purpse
ttmoney1: your the idiot mouth
cronican1: no I take my time
ttmoney1: your a moron shut your mouth
ttmoney1: sick of hearing idiots beak
cronican1: lalalalal
cronican1: lalalala
cronican1: lalalala
ttmoney1: keep beaking idiot
cronican1: lalalal
cronican1: la
cronican1: laala
cronican1: lalala
cronican1: llalala
cronican1: lalalalalala
Chat Monitor (Support): cronican1 has lost their chat privilege for 2 minutes. Spamming the table is prohibited.

ttmoney1: and wasting time on purpse too
taticaba: cronican PUTO
ttmoney1: cronican you get beat up when you go out??
ttmoney1: like at a casino?? that is why you dont playe in a casino
taticaba: jajajajaa
ttmoney1: you get beat up for your mouth
ttmoney1: nice play too crummycan1 you play good

Dealer: taticaba has 15 seconds left to act
Dealer: cronican1 has 15 seconds left to act
Dealer: ttmoney1 has 15 seconds left to act
Dealer: cronican1 shows [Qd Ad]
Dealer: ttmoney1 shows [2s Ts]
Dealer: taticaba shows [Kd Ac]
ttmoney1: why do you waste so much time cronincan your a time waster cronincan
Dealer: cronican1 shows two pair, Fours and Threes
Dealer: taticaba shows two pair, Fours and Threes
Dealer: cronican1 ties for the side pot ($0.37) with two pair, Fours and Threes
Dealer: taticaba ties for the side pot ($0.36) with two pair, Fours and Threes
Dealer: ttmoney1 shows two pair, Fours and Threes
Dealer: cronican1 ties for the main pot ($2.31) with two pair, Fours and Threes
Dealer: taticaba ties for the main pot ($2.31) with two pair, Fours and Threes


ttmoney1: cronican hollywoods his ca;lls and raises by wasting time everyone!!!!!!
ttmoney1: it took you that long to raise 10c
Dealer: ZloiGromila shows [7d 7s]
Dealer: cronican1 shows [5h 7h]
ttmoney1: ahahahhaha
Dealer: ZloiGromila shows a pair of Sevens
Dealer: cronican1 shows Ace Jack high
Dealer: ZloiGromila wins the pot ($4.02) with a pair of Sevens

ttmoney1: nice call
ttmoney1: what an idiot
taticaba: very nice
ZloiGromila: =)
ttmoney1: hahaha
ttmoney1: nhnh
taticaba: jajajajajjajaja
ttmoney1: hahahahahh
taticaba: hot very hot

Dealer: Kuettel shows a pair of Jacks
Dealer: cronican1 shows Ace King high
Dealer: Kuettel wins the pot ($12.37) with a pair of Jacks
Dealer: Hand #14906719609

ttmoney1: well done

Dealer: ttmoney1 shows [Kc Th]
Dealer: cronican1 shows [Ks Qs]
Dealer: ttmoney1 shows a pair of Twos
Dealer: cronican1 shows a pair of Twos
Dealer: cronican1 wins the pot ($2.46) with a pair of Twos
taticaba: 2 idiots

enää en muista miten käsi meni, mutta ohi taidettiin vetää kun vihu rupes avautuu:

ic0n1k: wow could you honestly %%#$ing
play any worse
ic0n1k: and get any &&%@ing luckier
ic0n1k: piece of @$&$
ic0n1k: nice catch fagt
ic0n1k: %#$@ing pathetic
HERO: sorry
ic0n1k: makes me !$%!ign sick to see you
@!!%ign morons smash your cards
ic0n1k: shut the &#%$ up
ic0n1k: !&#!ing idiots its so bad

mikään ei ole vittumaisempaa kuin lukea badbeatin jälkeen chatista 'sry' yms.
päinvastoin taas jos vihu vetää törkeesti ohi niin laitan aina 'nh'. hauskinta on se, että monesti sieltä vastataan että 'ty'...

Mä ainaki vastaan aina vittuilumielessä "ty" jos vedän likasesti ohi & vihu pistää nh.

Tää on aika vanha mut en muistaakseni tälle forumille oo pastennu ni pistetään nyt ku löysin kovalevyn nurkalta. FTP:n plo50 hu pelinä.

Dealer: HERO wins the pot ($53.20) with a straight, Queen high
Dealer: ploking is sitting out
ploking: fk you @%$%!$
ploking: YOUR A FKING ##$@ $!
HERO: ty
ploking: stfu u luckbox
ploking: jew
ploking: go get gassed you jew
ploking: really? I know you jews like money a lot you big nose motherfkers
HERO: btw
ploking: stfu
HERO: why would I be jew?
ploking: go report me you jew
ploking: cause your a fking donk who loves money
HERO: I dont care about your chat. no need to report
ploking: jew
HERO: just wondering about that jew talk
ploking: want more money?
ploking: or are you a nig?
ploking: or a ch ink
ploking: huh?
ploking: fking dumbass donk
ploking: the first hand you played pissed me off so bad, calling an all in shove on the turn with three aces vs my straight and catching a Q, your a fking donk
ploking: wish i could meet u in real life to snuff you in the face
HERO: cause I didn't know I was jew
HERO: but maybe I am
ploking: i would kill you in real life you little puss y
HERO: I love you too
HERO: in real life I would make sweet love to you
ploking: i bet you would u dumbass
ploking: then id beat you over the head with a deck of cards
HERO: lol
HERO: ur funny you know
ploking: stfu
HERO: lose couple of bucks and get mad...
HERO: lol
ploking: no
ploking: when i lose to a donk i get mad
ploking: why? because you play stupid hands and suckout and get paid
HERO: why? aren't you gonna win in long run anyways? so what's wrong losing in short run to donk like me
ploking: because fking donks like you are everywhere
HERO: of course
ploking: impossible to win whenever I shove on the turn with a straight and get called by a dumbass like you who rivers a boat
HERO: we jews reproduce like rabbits
ploking: can I ask one thing
Dealer: ploking stands up

Starsilla, jo pitkään samalle fisulle rahojaan syytänyt jenkki viimeisimmän (ja railakkaimman ohivedon jälkeen):
"You suck so much c ock, I'm beginning to think you have two mouths"

Mike Matusow: dear lord please bless gusses internet connection back to life alot of us good folks depend on him - amen

5/1k OE pöydästä FT:llä

NukinFutzDude: of course
NukinFutzDude: &&%%ing d bag
NukinFutzDude: no business in a hand once again
NukinFutzDude: site saves you &%!!ing sorry assw
NukinFutzDude: you cant play any %#&&ing worse
imthebest6969: omg
imthebest6969: u mother fucckkerr
imthebest6969: one outer come on
imthebest6969: break ur neck u bassttadd
imthebest6969: b
NukinFutzDude: just for the both of you
NukinFutzDude: you both tought me so well
imthebest6969: j9 runer runer
imthebest6969: f donks
NukinFutzDude: those idiots had a pair of 5's and 6's
NukinFutzDude: they're calling the river with 3 overs, 2 straights and a flush
NukinFutzDude: morons
imthebest6969: th @$@& dealer
NukinFutzDude: morons
NukinFutzDude: thers another
imthebest6969: f ur f
imthebest6969: yup
NukinFutzDude: I bet it dude...
NukinFutzDude: sorry
imthebest6969: no matter what i have
imthebest6969: allreg f site
NukinFutzDude: llike playing a retard
NukinFutzDude: no no, no draw
NukinFutzDude: @#$!ing idiot all day
imthebest6969: f donks
imthebest6969: fucckk them in the mouth
NukinFutzDude: $!#$ing joke
imthebest6969: u like it
NukinFutzDude: bunhc of %%$#ing idiots
NukinFutzDude: you complain....you're pathetic

toinen kaveri on 52/30 ja toinen 71/20

Huvitti vihun kommentti NL100 HU pöydässä:

iznasilnic: ALL YOU CAN DO IS RAISE.. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO PLAY