Las Vegasin kuhina, Rio-kasinon tarunhohtoiset valot, käytävillä vastaantulevat pokerilegendat ja chippien kaikkialta kuuluva vastaansanomaton kilinä. World Series of Pokerissa pelaaminen on jokaisen pokerinpelaajan unelma, mutta todellisuus Rio-kasinolla ei kaikilta osin vastaa mielikuvia. Kokeneet Vegasin-kävijät ovat jo tottuneita esimerkiksi jäätävän ilmastoinnin aiheuttamiin flunssiin, ylihintaisiin turnausruokailuihin, rekisteröitymisjonoihin, Vegasin paahtavaan helteeseen, vähemmän taitaviin jakajiin ja muihin lieveilmiöihin.

Pitkän linjan high stakes mixed games -ammattilainen Melissa Burr on naurattanut tänä kesänä pokerikansaa päivittäisillä #wouldbeWSOP-twiiteillään, joissa Burr kertoo varsin tarkkanäköisesti, mihin WSOP:n vähemmän miellyttäviin lieveilmiöihin tämä kunakin päivänä törmäisi, mikäli WSOP olisi päästy pelaamaan normaalisti Las Vegasissa.

Today would have been the 5th day of the WSOP.

COLOSSUS

Id get KK in vs AK. Ace in the window.

Sigh "ON TO THE NEXT ONE"

Later on twitter and Id see the chip leader misspell "colossus"

How the fuck does this idiot have millions in earnings?

Poker is so unfair#wouldbeWSOP

— Melissa Burr (@burrrrrberry) May 30, 2020

Today would have been the 6th day of the WSOP.

Today I would focus on health. Id go with the $7 Starbucks banana.

Id also sign up for an @AllAmericanDave meal plan… cant play great if we dont feel great.

Later that day I would sneeze.

Oh no….

The Rio flu.#wouldbeWSOP

— Melissa Burr (@burrrrrberry) May 31, 2020

Today would be the 7th day of the WSOP

1500 o8

I would promise to play well and be patient. Cant win a bracelet on day 1

AA23.. LFG

Flying in from the BB is some NL punk bracelet chaser. I lose to K8J3

There goes my plan for patience. I will have my revenge.#wouldbeWSOP pic.twitter.com/fUzfWUaDwz

— Melissa Burr (@burrrrrberry) June 1, 2020

Today would be the 9th day of the WSOP.

I would bust the 1500o8, then get a text "Lets go to the pool!"

Great its 110 fucking degrees and these assholes wanna go outside.

Id go anyway, make an appearance then fake a headache.

Bellagio has great air conditioning.#wouldbeWSOP

— Melissa Burr (@burrrrrberry) June 3, 2020

Today would be the 11th day of the WSOP.

75/150o8
A new dealer would push in, deal 2 cards and stop.

"Its omaha keep dealing please"

Nervously hed get 5 hands out that half

Thank god he deals so slow maybe the chip runner will get back before I run out of chips.#wouldbeWSOP

— Melissa Burr (@burrrrrberry) June 5, 2020

Today would be the 12th day of the WSOP

Dealers choice

Id sit down to this convo

A: whatcha reading?
B: googling the rules to badeucy
Dealer: its on you sir what game do you choose?
A: NO LIMIT

Id facepalm so hard, a friend at the next table would ask if Im ok.#wouldbeWSOP

— Melissa Burr (@burrrrrberry) June 6, 2020

Today would be the 22nd day of the WSOP.

Walking thru the Amazon section, I would see an event that hasnt started yet, but all the players and dealers are seated and ready.

I've never seen so many people on time for an event.

Must be the seniors.

It is.#wouldbeWSOP

— Melissa Burr (@burrrrrberry) June 16, 2020

Kaikki Burrin #wouldbeWSOP-twiitit löydät täältä.